letters from friends.....

This is an actual letter I received from a dear friend yesterday. I am truly flattered that friends know that they can confide in me with such serious important issues. Without further adieu....

I feel like I can discuss this with you:
A few months ago, I was reading some sex horror stories (true stories!) and one of them was about a girl and her boyfriend and how he stuck a champagne bottle up her ass, and her mother-in-law walked in and she pooped all over the fancy Mother in law's couch. Okay. Fast-forward to the next day, when I'm listening to The Moth podcasts, and one is about a recent divorcee who started screwing a younger guy. The sex was amazing, so much so, that she....pooped the bed. It wasn't even anal.
So ever since these consecutive poopsex stories, I've been terrified of pooping during sex. I can't focus on anything else but pooping! I had never even thought about it before. Has this ever happened to you? Is this a question better suited for Savage Love or something? I've totally got hang-ups now.
Love,
********


PS- General life updates from you are welcome.

Dearest ********,
I have definitely had the fear of such a situation. Especially after a huge fancy pants romantic dinner. There is no room, you know? I'm scared of farting even. But then again, sex is filled with crazy bodily fluids and weird random things can happen. My sister shit her pants when she gave birth to her first kid but not her second. Yeah that wasn't during sex but it really is just luck of the draw. There is always the "not tonight, my tummy hurts" excuse. But sex is gross and gross things are bound to happen. Once, I had sex on the first day of my period. everything was fine and dandy, no mess was made during. It was a fucking miracle. Then, right when it was over and I said that I was going to go get situated "BAM!" I bleed all over myself and the floor. Sometimes you just have to roll with the punches. We basically just laughed it off and never talked about it again. Embarrassed? No way. I say shit the bed. If you shit the bed and he flees it was never meant to be. If you shit the bed and he stays, that's love.

forever your girl,
chrissy.wynn.

p.s. I love that you assumed this situation had happened to me.




If any of you readers have advice for ******** please leave it in the comments. thanks!